You don't know us, fool. We just drained your pool.

I've always liked the way that statement sounds. Imagine! Some rich family in Kahala or Portlock goes away for a little vacation, maybe a week or so. Maybe they went skiing in Aspen or they took a Carribean cruise, who gives a shit where they went? The important thing is they weren't home for an extended period of time and in that time some vagabonds found out about their long-term abscence and decided to drain their swimming pool on the stealth tip.

Just straight up bum-rushed the property and emptied out their pool. Didn't break in and steal anything, and believe me there was probably a bunch of nice shit inside of that palatial estate worth gaffling, but the house per se was never even thought of in that manner. These villainous souls were only interested in the exterior, namely the beautiful swimming hole that was so conveniently shaped in the form of a right handed kidney.

I know a couple of guys like this.
One of them, I don't want to name names but let's just say that he's hated in the neighborhood, and there also happens to be a photo of himself skating a pool in the new issue of Slap, which just so happens to be the POOL ISSUE, a magazine which you should go out and purchase this very instant.



BIG UPS TO ALL THOSE WHO LIVE THE POOL SHARKING LIFE!
This post is for you.
Now take me to a nice peanut or amoeba.
Thank you.

For the most comprehensive coverage regarding pool skating in the state of Hawaii, please visit the official website of the Royal Hawaiian Pool Service.

Shaka, fakas!